Most businesses are obsessed with what’s essential: delivery, margins, productivity, ROI.

All good stuff, obviously – But if you’re only focusing on the essentials, you’re missing one of the biggest levers for long-term success: the things that don’t need to be done, but make people love doing business with you. 

Enter: the Critical Non-Essentials. Or as Aussie dentist and professional rule-breaker Paddi Lund coined them, CNEs. 

These are the little (and sometimes not-so-little) things that turn customers into fans, and fans into unpaid salespeople. They’re not about improving your product. They’re about improving the feeling your customers have when they deal with you. 

It’s the “non-essential” things that people remember and appreciate. The handwritten note. The unexpected gift. The call just to say congratulations when they land a big deal. You know, all the stuff most businesses can’t be arsed to do because it’s not an essential part of a process. 

And yet, it works. Every time. Why? Because relationships aren’t built on slick service and standard emails. They’re built on feeling that you care. 

What counts as a CNE? 

It could be anything, really, but make sure it’s something personal to them: 

  • A bottle of their favourite wine when they hit a milestone. 
  • A book that relates to a conversation you had. 
  • A toy for their dog because you remembered they had one. 
  • A personalised email that doesn’t sell them something. 
  • A handwritten note, or card. 
  • A framed picture. 
  • A personalised gift, such as a mug, a T-shirt, a jacket. 

If you’re thinking “that sounds like a waste of time,” you’re missing the point. CNEs are deposits in the Emotional Bank Account (cheers Stephen Covey). Keep making enough deposits, and when something goes wrong – which it eventually will – you’ve got credit. Try to withdraw without ever depositing, and you’ll get ghosted quicker than a cold LinkedIn pitch. 

But we’re B2B, Rob… 

Businesses don’t buy from businesses. People buy from people. And people remember how you made them feel. You can automate your emails all you like – it won’t make anyone feel special. Using AI poorly can be even worse! And in a world of increasingly impersonal automated messages, the personal touch stands out even more. 

Systems, not random acts 

The magic of Paddi Lund wasn’t just his ideas – it was the systems he built to deliver them. He made being thoughtful a process, not a random brainwave after too much coffee. If you’re serious about this, don’t rely on memory. Track birthdays, pets, football teams, weird hobbies. Get it into your CRM and treat it like gold. 

Better still, get your team involved. CNEs aren’t your job – they’re everyone’s job. Recognition and surprise work just as well internally. Your team should be your first raving fans. 

Isn’t this manipulative? 

It could be, so don’t use it that way. This isn’t about tricking people, it’s about showing that you care and making it easier and consistent by building systems around it and making it part of your culture. 

Final word 

Definitely make your business efficient. And also show you care and stand out from the crowd by showing you care.